My son could not WAIT to turn 18. He was counting down the days. It wasn’t long until figured out why. Someone told my son that he was grown we get turned 18.
“I’m an adult. It’s time for you to do as I say”
My son had me twisted. That’s not how this worked at all.
I sat him down for one of our talks. I explained to him that everyone has rules. Even me. I don’t do what I want, whenever I want and how I want it. There will always be rules, especially in this house.
The number 1 rule we have in our house is, I can ask questions and make suggestions.
This one rule is extremely important. He is an adult, He does have opinions. He can do things I may not like. I do ask questions so that I can keep him safe and make important decisions as his caregiver.
“May I look you over?”
My son won’t tell you he is hurt or sick until it is a medical emergency. This isn’t a strip search type of thing. When I wasn’t as diligent in doing this he hid an MRSA infection and almost had his arm amputated.
“What are you doing on the computer?”
I already know my son watches sexually explicit videos on the internet. I’m not worried about that. I’m more concerned with him being taken advantage of predators. I’m checking to make sure he’s not giving out personal info or accidentally participating in anything illegal.
“Why are you…?”
He has a pretty predictable routine. Anytime there is a deviation from his “normal” I will ask why. Again, he usually won’t tell me if something is wrong. I have to ask and sometimes in an indirect way.
Why are you washing the dishes by hand? Found out the dishwasher was broken.
Why didn’t you wash your clothes today? We were out of detergent.
Why are you still sleeping? He vomited last night and wasn’t feeling well.
My one rule my adult son with autism has to follow may not work for your household but it is working ok in mine.
Do you have rules in your home? Which is the most important one and why?
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